Siblings and Diabetes

Having a child with type 1 diabetes comes with so many challenges, and one of the hardest parts for me as a mom is balancing my time and attention between both of my kids. My daughter, Maybel, is 4 and has type 1 diabetes, which naturally requires a lot of time and care. On the other hand, my son Magnus is 5, and while he doesn’t have any major health issues, I worry that he might feel like he’s not getting as much attention.

If you’re in a similar situation, you probably understand the emotional and physical toll this can take on siblings. When your time is constantly pulled in one direction, it’s easy for the other child to feel overlooked or left out. But I’ve been working hard to make sure Magnus feels just as loved and important, even though his sister requires more care.

Here’s what’s been working for us:

Dedicated One-on-One Time

I’ve made it a priority to set aside special time just for Magnus. We homeschool, so we’re together a lot, but that doesn’t always mean I’m present with him. I carve out time when it’s just the two of us—whether that’s reading a book, building with blocks, or having an outdoor adventure. This uninterrupted time helps him feel like he’s still getting my attention, even when Maybel needs extra care.

Involving Him in Maybel’s Care—In a Fun Way

Instead of making Maybel’s care feel like something that separates us, I’ve started involving Magnus in small ways. I explain to him what I’m doing when I’m helping with Maybel’s blood sugar or insulin, and I let him pick out healthy snacks for both of them. He’s learning a lot, and it makes him feel included rather than feeling like he’s on the outside looking in. He’s a pretty good advocate for her - he’ll be the first one to tell you her pancreas doesn't make insulin! 

Making Space for Him to Express His Feelings

It’s important to me that Magnus knows it’s okay to have big feelings about all of this. We talk openly about what’s going on with Maybel, but I also make sure to ask him how he’s feeling. He’s only 5, so sometimes it’s hard for him to articulate, but having those conversations regularly has helped him express himself more. I want him to know his feelings are valid, no matter what.

Special Time with Other Family Members

There are days when it feels impossible to be everything to both kids. That’s when I lean on other family members, or my husband, to spend one-on-one time with Magnus. Whether they take him out for ice cream or just play a game, it gives him the extra attention he needs, especially on days when Maybel’s care is more demanding.

Creating Routines That Make Him Feel Special

I’ve also found that having little routines or traditions just for Magnus goes a long way. Whether it’s movie night or “just us” snack time, these moments have become something we both look forward to. They don’t have to be elaborate—it’s just about making him feel special.

Fostering His Independence

Lastly, I’ve been encouraging Magnus’s independence. I want him to feel confident and proud of what he can do on his own, and giving him small tasks or letting him lead activities we do together helps build his self-esteem. I make sure to praise him when he completes something or tries something new. It’s amazing how this small boost in confidence can make him feel just as valued.

But as much as we work on balancing things, one of the hardest challenges we face is the emotional roller-coaster of Maybel’s insulin pod changes and the times when her pod fails. It’s not just tough on her; it’s a whole event for all of us, even Magnus. These moments are stressful—Maybel gets upset, there’s sometimes pain involved, and the anxiety of managing her blood sugar spikes during failures can be overwhelming. Magnus watches all of this, and it affects him emotionally, too. It’s heartbreaking for him to see his little sister in discomfort, and he does his best to comfort her, even though he’s only 5.

He’s so empathetic during those times, giving her hugs, holding her hand, and trying to distract her by making silly faces or offering her toys. But I know it takes a toll on him. Watching Maybel go through something painful, and seeing how much attention we have to give to fixing the issue, can make him feel powerless and sad. It’s a lot for a young child to handle, and as much as I try to shield him from the harder parts, he’s very aware of what’s happening. These moments remind me that while Maybel is the one physically dealing with diabetes, it impacts Magnus emotionally, too.

To make things harder, Maybel’s fluctuating glucose levels can leave her grouchy and more fussy. Some days, she’ll cry, not want to be around anyone—not even me, her dad, or Magnus—which is really tough for her brother. He tries so hard to help, but when she pushes him away or refuses comfort, I can see the frustration building in him. It’s tough for him to understand that it’s her glucose levels making her act that way, not him.

On top of that, the emotional strain of managing a type one diabetic child affects me and my partner as well. We’re often frazzled and anxious, trying to stay calm while managing her care, but it’s hard to hold it together when there’s so much stress. We do our best, but the pressure can make us short-tempered, even though we don’t mean to be. I know Magnus picks up on that tension, and I worry that seeing us stressed makes him anxious, too. He’s so sensitive to the atmosphere, and when we’re overwhelmed, he feels it. Balancing our emotions and making sure both kids feel supported is something we’re constantly working on as a family.

I know I’m not perfect, and this balancing act is a constant work in progress. But as a homeschooling, stay-at-home mom, I’m doing everything I can to make sure both of my kids feel loved, cared for, and equally important. If you’re navigating something similar, just know that you’re not alone—and that with some intentionality, it is possible to give each of your children the attention they need, even when one requires more care.